I forget that nowadays I actually have several readers/subscribers I know solely through online means or whom I might not even know at all. People, I'm competitive. I'm ridiculously competitive. When I meet people I don't know well, I have a story to point out how competitive I am.
When I was young, and still freshly dating Paul, we sat down for a game of chess. Paul had taught me how to play just a month or so before, and I was interested in the game, though he beat me in four moves the first game. (If I might make a note to those of you who ever decide to teach another person how to play chess -- do not do this. Point it out if you think they are opening in a way that leads to this capture of the king. If you actually beat them in four moves it will demoralize them greatly.) Well, we played several games and I lost them all, as you can imagine. Paul is just as intelligent as I am, after all, and he has a much much better strategic mind. Let's just say that if we were in a war, and you had a choice of who could be your general and tactician, me or him? I'd advise you to choose Paul. So, one night, we sat down for a game, and Paul beat me pretty badly. I tried not to, but... I cried. I cried hard. I sobbed like a girl. See, I equate chess to intelligence, and to consistently fail at chess meant I was stupid, as far as I was concerned.
People, we didn't play chess for roughly eight more years. We just played a game in the last year. He still beat me, but not so badly. I kind of wonder if he let me do somewhat better just to keep from depressing me.
So, as you can see, telling me that chess is not a competitive sport is good advice, but I've already ignored it. I'm already competitive. Do you want to know how I could be a faster knitter of Harry Potter scarves? Someone I know in real life such as Helen or Marlon could tell me they've taken up knitting Harry Potter scarves and they were into section six or whatnot. I will tell you right now that my little fingers would fly to keep ahead of them. This is not an attractive personality trait, but it's one that I'm sharing nonetheless. This is my blog, you should know how I am.
Other horrible traits I have include being horribly shy, judgmental, and slightly mean. Other people have called me self-centered, selfish, capricious, flighty, and evil.
I promise I have good qualities too. Keep reading my blog -- you might learn about them at some time.
I'll give you one right now, I persevere! I restarted my Schaffer Anne socks today. I am also kind to kittens.
2 comments:
Being kind to kittens can make up for a lot of things. :D
I'm competitive with myself, but not other people. If I were, it would drive me crazy and when I have been in the past, all it's led me to is being unhappy.
First off, I don't agree with any of your "negative" traits. You are not mean, evil, or judgmental. And coming from someone else who is painfully shy, that's not necessarily a bad thing either!
I totally get the competitive vibe with knitting, although I am largely competitive with myself rather than other people. Although when you and Helen and I were all knitting the friendship fingerless mitts back in the winter, I was secretly a little jealous that yours and H's turned out better than mine. It just hardened my resolve to make sure that I addressed some mistakes that I made the next time I tried something similar!
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